Building better relationships when you are apart often presents challenges, but there are little things you each can do that help strengthen your love and your relationship as a whole. You may not be able to do all of them, or may need to adapt, but be creative and focus on connection and…
So im new to the long distance relationship thing and i really like my boyfriend, but theres noithing ever to talk about. any suggestions?
This one can sometimes make or break a relationship. I recommend getting to know each other even more than what you do right now, whether it be about family or their favorites. Talk about the daily stuff, friends, things on your mind. Communication is key when your in a LDR. Without communication its hard to maintain the relationship.
Play 20 questions, and ask some weird questions.
You may also want to look at my post/ list of what to do when apart from each other.
Hi, I really love your blog, and it makes me smile most of the time hence Im in a LDR. I didnt know this many people are all in the same sitution as me, and feeling excatly the same, and having the same problems. Im in a LDR with a guy, who I feel in love with for a week, then he went back to his country, and I havent been able to see him. We do the skyping and the Texting, and the calling sort of thing, But at times, I dont want to feel needy, but I do get needy. I want him to be here back in England with me. I was just wondering if feeling needy was normal? Also I wanted to thank you. This blog has been really useful to me, and very useful to others as well, from the questions and answers and also the inspiring pictures that keep are relationships alive. Thanks very much <3
:) I’m glad the blog makes you smile! LDL is where I’d like everyone/anyone who is in a LDR feel welcomed. There are other like you, in the same situations.
Feeling needy IS normal. You’ve just spent a week with him, having him next to you, holding his hand. Now you have to some how get used to not having him there. It’s hard, that’s where the needy part comes in. I think that when it comes to him leaving, it gets hard, because you want him there with you , and your working it out via skype/texting/calling. But it isn’t enough to satisfy the feeling of having his body next to you. It takes some time to get used to it, but just let him know how you feel. COMMUNICATION IS KEY! ( I don’t mean the all caps in a angry manner, just to focus a key point :) More than likely he feels the same way but is to macho to tell you.
And thank you for even saying all the nice things about the blog :’) it’s so sweet. Your so sweet :)
I think I will send him something that way I can just get it off my mind and say that I atleast tried. Thanks so much for listening. I've tried asking advice on my page from other people in LDR's but they just get ignored.
I wouldn’t have been able to find better words than those. :)
I would never ignore this, you have the same right as everyone else. Regardless of whether or not your in a LDR at the moment. <3
I was going to. I think I really hurt him though. I don't want to cause problems for him and his new girl. They are telling each other that they love each other. He told me he loved me after just a week (before I ended things). Everytime I get online to talk to him within five minutes he logs off before I can send my message. I don't know if I should tell him because of the girlfriend thing. I don't know what to do or what to say. Part of me just says to wait until they are over but another doesn't want to risk losing him (even though I know I already have) I just keep thinking about the common future plans we had. Wanting to get married and have kids by the time we are 26. Wanting to name our kids traditional names after our parents and grandparents who have passed. How both of our dads came out as gay. How we both want to remain virgins until marriage. I know it's kind of confusing but for once I need someone to tell me the brutal truth.
I honestly think you should just tell him how you feel about him, about the plans you made together. How you can’t lose him. Maybe this will change his own perspective on his feelings towards you. Don’t give up on someone you can’t imagine your life without. ( I honestly applaud you on the whole staying virgins until marriage, it takes alot of self control to do that. )
Send him a letter, a message, or something that he’ll read.
What do you usually do after the fight? I mean you guys are so far away from each other, you can't exactly run to his house or anything right?
After the fight we usually just sit in silence, or stop talking for a couple hours cool off. This is just the way we are in our relationship, Each couple is different. I’ve just learned that when I’m angry I have a tendency of saying things that I’m thinking but don’t mean, and at times it may hurt myself or my partner.
After we’ve cooled off , we talk about it in a calmer manner. And resolve whatever it is. That’s how I’ve done it for four years.
I was in a LDR with a really great guy for a week but ended things because I felt like I wasn't over my ex. My ex and I were also a LDR when I went up and met him for the first time it was great until we kissed. The kissing was the worst thing ever. I figured it was just because it was the first kiss for us together and it would get better. Well the guy slowly stopped talking for some reason. Usually he ims me once I get online and now I don't get anything. So, it's over. And now the guy I dated before is with another girl. I keep going back and reading messages and trying not to obsess over things because I really still like him. The distance is a big distance but I think he would be worth it. I don't know if him and his girl will break up they have been dating for like a month started dating two weeks after we broke up and she is in the same country as him and I'm not. I kind of think I let go someone that could have been it for me. Any advice?
If you think he is “it” for you , then pursue him. Follow your heart. It’s better to look back on what you’ve done, then to think “What if” for the rest of your life. I think if you tell him how you feel directly, he’ll be honest and do the same with you.
Your ex and the kissing issue, forget about it. Don’t let it consume what you had felt/thought of him before that. Be friends, or not . Just don’t let one experience ruin the other yet to come.
I'm in a LDR with a guy we'll refer to as 'X'. X and I are in love and are the happiest we have ever been. However, it turns out the reason he asked my out in the first place was because his girlfriend at the time broke up with him and he needed a rebound-- me. And he justifies everything that happened back then with, 'But I stayed, because I fell in love with you.' It's weird, because in the beginning of the relationship I asked if I was he rebound and he said 'no'. I'm really confused... I love him and I know that he loves me, so does that mean that the fact that I was the rebound girl shouldn't matter because we found love? I would really love an outsider's opinion on this. Please and thank you!
For one I’m happy for the both of you , you two are in love.
As far as the rebound girl issue, If I was placed in your shoes, It would get me that he wasn’t honest in the first place, with you being the rebound girl. I would think if you were in a different place in your relationship it would matter more than anything, but since you two are the happiest you’ve ever been, don’t let it really ruin the relationship you have.
There were countless times I would get pissed off at my bf because he wasn’t honest with me the first time, or failed to mention something that can change us. Through it all I think it takes some in order to make something bigger. I know it may sound bad, but don’t let it get to your core. It may bug you , but he loves you and is with you for a reason still. He could stop talking to you any day, yet he hasn’t.
All in all he loves you, and you love him. Live life in the moment. <3
A big thing for me in my LDR, is that we never say goodbye. It’s the hardest thing to do , especially if you have them right in your arms. He always says ” I love you, and I’ll miss you”. We attempted to say goodbye the very first time, and I broke out in tears. It’s hard, but every time I see him again I run to him, without saying a word we understand each other.
So i’ve compiled some ideas as to what I do with my boyfriend. Keep in mind he lives in a big city so there were more things to do.
- Go to a park (we played around like two 6 yrs old with crushes on each other.)
-Art Gallery ( I personally love art, and he listens to what I have to say about each piece.)
-Family things ( dinners, bbq’s,outings) I absolutely love his family, and they love me too. I think if it weren’t for me spending time with them as well, I probably would have been “that girl who was lost”. They got to know me as well.
-Cuddle in bed ( my personal favorite; If it turns into something more intimate, then go with the flow;)
-Go shopping together ( we’re both really into the same type of fashion, I’m more of a vintage girl so resale shops are fun!)
- Hang out with friends ( you get to know the other part of thier life)